beyond our control

My D90 has fallen into the sea and being washed. Totally damaged and no longer functions.

In our life, increasingly feel that there are many things beyond our control. Maybe we feel that we are able to organize our lives well, but the reality is often what happens is something we do not want at all. 

We want to always be happy and all went well, so that when people ask us how are you, we are with a smile answered all is well. At the time there was a friend's birthday, we gave utterance may longevity. At the moment there are married, we gave utterance may be happy. At the moment there is a school exam, we give utterance may graduate with good grades. Also when there is a long journey, we say hopefully arrive safely.

But what happens is not always in accordance with what we want. It is often the opposite of what is considered good by the human eye. There is sadness, difficulties, failures, broken spirit, a long struggle .. All of this is part of life's journey. Life is not always sweet. Life is fragile.

So this awareness leads us to a hope. Expectations for a strong hand that holds our fragile life is. Hope for a person with whom we walk in the valleys of life that is bleak. Indirectly, if we're honest, inevitably we want God's face shining on our lives, his strong hands direct our steps .. Guided us in the struggle in love. It may not be obvious but feels strong. Like the breeze that are not felt his presence but soothing and give peace on a sunny day.

The beauty of Siak River

Siak River - taken by BB 10

When I flew to Pekanbaru - a city in east of Sumatera Island, I am amazed on beautiful scenery of a river. Then I have a chance to ask somebody, that is Siak River. Was a deepest river in Indonesia - for about 30 metres depth, but due to silting now just about 18 metres.

Still loved, still missed, and very dear

One gloomy morning a week before - San Diego, Cikarang 

Those we love don't go away
They walk beside us every day
Unseen, unheard, but always near
Still loved, still missed and very dear

When reading the poem above, my mind drifted away eight months ago. My friend lying very weak and dying. It was late in the day and knew when I came, she tried to sit down to talk. I helped to carry her down from the bed to the couch on the side. She tried to say something with a hoarse voice barely audible. Finally I just heard a word of thanks. An expression of the most sincere gratitude that I have ever heard. And within two days later my dearest friend had died.

Today I am writing this short article because tomorrow is her forty nine birthday. Be a friend for twenty-four years, I have learned a lot of wisdom in her journey of life. Not always positive things but also about many difficulties. Not always a smooth path but rather in her difficult journey I learned a lot. I can do everything through him who gives me strength, she often said this favorite bible verse.

Our life really a journey that is fragile, short, and like the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown. But like my dearest friend life story, God put the meaning in her life. The meaning of our fragile journey, depends on one question, what are you seek in this life ..

My friend had found what she is looking for. How about us?

sola experientia

This month, Musafir thought about Sola Experientia by Martin Luther. In our journey of spiritual life, it is really important to have personal encounter with God. God himself is a living God that willing to walk with us, help us, hear our pray in daily life..

In one of Martin Luther’s Table Talks, he said, “sola experientia facit theologum.”

The use of experience, or in this sense, personal encounter in understanding the Bible as a locus in theology is gaining more supporters of late. The pressure of understanding the Bible in high academic standards can put experientia aside. Luther reminded his students and friends to find the real message, not only through academic training, but also through prayer, meditations and personal encounter with God.

Of course this experiential journey with God - based on the solid the other sola like sola scriptura, sola fide, sola Cristos, sola gracia.

May God have mercy on us ..

The darkest, saddest psalm of all the Psalms - Psalm 88

Today in my devotion, Musafir learned about Psalm 88, which is the pulpit commentary said - This is the darkest, saddest psalm of all the Psalms.

Further Spurgeon gave his comment to Psalm 88 : 4 (quoted from www.spurgeon.org):

"For my soul is full of troubles. I am satiated and nauseated with them. Like a vessel full to the brim with vinegar, my heart is filled up with adversity till it can hold no more. He had his house full and his hands full of sorrow; but, worse than that, he had his heart full of it. Trouble in the soul is the soul of trouble. A little soul trouble is pitiful; what must it be to be sated with it? And how much worse still to have your prayers return empty when your soul remains full of grief. And my life draweth nigh unto the grave. He felt as if he must die, indeed he thought himself half dead already. All his life was going, his spiritual life declined, his mental life decayed, his bodily life flickered; he was nearer dead than alive. Some of us can enter into this experience, for many a time have we traversed this valley of death shade, aye and dwelt in it by the month together. Really to die and be with Christ will be a gala day's enjoyment compared with our misery when a worse than physical death has cast its dreadful shadow over us. Death would be welcomed as a relief by those whose depressed spirits make their existence a living death.

Are good men ever permitted to suffer thus? Indeed they are; and some of them are even all their life time subject to bondage. O Lord, Be pleased to set free thy prisoners of hope! Let, none of thy mourners imagine that a strange thing has happened unto him, but rather rejoice as he sees the footprints of brethren who have trodden this desert before."

Whew .. for me this Psalm like an answer from God himself when we are in lot troubles. Indeed, He may permit good men to suffer in this journey of life.

(A contemplation in deep struggle from a life journey - August 2014)

Cenang Beach

Cenang Beach - Langkawi

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. This is the quote from Albert Enstein. I like this quote, but when I am in travelling to Cenang Beach - Langkawi, Malaysia, no man riding bicycle but I found these four man running in the hot daylight. Rather than running, definitely I will prefer to take shelter under the shadow of coconut tree :)

But running has a good meaning to our life. From the health side, running may be make you healthy - of course if you do not have a serious heart problem. It will make unfavorable cholesterol decrease or loss your body fat. It is good, right?

But running is also related to a journey. If you are running, you need a destination. A goal, if it is a journey of life. Apostle Paul wrote in his book to the Corinthians : so I do not run aimlessly .. Indeed many people run aimlessly or no goal at all. Just flowing until realize that he or she run out of time. 

So what will I choose? I do not run aimlessly ..

June 2014

Jemima!

Kuala Namu - Medan

Ancol - Jakarta

Ubud - Bali

Salah satu cerita yang sangat memberikan inspirasi dalam kehidupan ini adalah kisah tentang Ayub dalam Perjanjian Lama. Dikasihi Tuhan tetapi justru dalam hal inilah dia diizinkan mengalami begitu banyak penderitaan sakit penyakit, kesedihan, dikutuki istrinya, dan ditinggal mati oleh anak-anaknya dalam satu malam saja.

Ketika mereka memandang dari jauh, mereka tidak mengenalnya lagi. Lalu menangislah mereka dengan suara nyaring. Mereka mengoyak jubahnya, dan menaburkan debu di kepala  terhadap langit. Lalu mereka duduk bersama-sama dia di tanah selama tujuh hari tujuh malam. Seorangpun tidak mengucapkan sepatah kata kepadanya, karena mereka melihat, bahwa sangat berat penderitaannya.

Perjalanan hidup adalah suatu journey; lebih besar maknanya dari sekedar travelling yang sering kita lakukan. Dalam perjalanan hidup seseorang, tercakup semua hal yang bahkan identik dengan hidup itu sendiri. Di dalam perjalanan ini pula kita bertemu dengan makna dari kehidupan. Ada yang begitu pahit tetapi ada yang memaknai kehidupan itu dengan begitu indahnya.

Bagaimana dengan Ayub?

Setelah Perjanjian Lama menyebutkan kalau penderitaannya sangat berat, Ayub dipulihkan oleh Tuhan. Kemudian lahirlah anak-anak Ayub. Biasanya nama yang dipilih bagi anak, dipikirkan matang-matang oleh orang tuanya, apalagi dalam dunia Perjanjian Lama, nama yang diberikan untuk seorang anak seringkali mengandung arti yang dalam. Anak perempuan pertama yang lahir bagi Ayub (setelah penderitaan itu) dinamakan Jemima, yang salah satu artinya adalah kehangatan. Nama yang muncul setelah perjalanan hidupnya selangkah lebih jauh lagi akan pengenalan terhadap Tuhan, Sang Pencipta ..

Dari nama Jemima tsb, kita dapat mengerti bagaimana Ayub memaknai kehidupannya selepas penderitaan yang berat itu ..

Bagaimana pula dengan kita?